Stories

 The Day I Was Born

Racquelle Joy’s Birth Story by Jennifer W.

 Don’t you love a story that begins, “I lost my mucus plug…”  But, that is exactly how it began.  It was 3:30 a.m. on Saturday, September 17th.  I woke up and went to the bathroom, which was my usual early morning routine in the third trimester.  With the bloody show that was present it was obvious that my mucus plug was definitely gone.  I attempted to return to bed, but noticed that my contractions were becoming more severe.  I knew from my Bradley Method of Husband-Coached Natural Child-Birthing class that I needed to conserve my energy.  “Just relax and go back to sleep,” I told myself.  But, I was only 1 week away from my estimated delivery date – this could be false labor, or it could also be the real deal!

 I decided to get up because the severity of the contractions was different from the Braxton-Hicks I was accustomed to.  I simply could not sleep through them.  I decided to time my contractions to see if there was any regularity to them.  Surprise!  They were between eight and five minutes apart and usually 1-1.5 minutes in duration.  I knew this was it!

 I waited until 7:30 a.m. to call our midwife, Connie.  We discussed resting and relaxing while I labored at home because exhaustion is not a friend during labor and delivery.  That’s also when my husband, Michael, rose for the day and I called our doula, Vanessa.  Vanessa is my sister and also a labor and delivery nurse at a local hospital – plus, she’s my personal lactation consultant!  Vanessa made babysitting arrangements for her own children and arrived at our house around noon with lunch.  I remembered to eat throughout the day, first in the morning with my usual oatmeal, again at lunch with a sandwich, and macaroni-n-cheese for dinner with healthy snacks in between. 

 Being at home was the best and most comfortable arrangement for this early labor.  While there, either Michael or Vanessa would time my contractions on our smart phone application while the other would help massage my lower back.  We walked around the backyard and did some lunges, used the birth ball, and labored in the side relaxation position.  I took two small naps while still attempting to time the contractions.  Connie would call every few hours to check on my progression.  Finally around 7:30 p.m., my contractions were picking up speed and increasing in intensity.  I felt I needed to get to my birthing location.  Michael called Connie and the Birth Team met at the Babymoon Inn around 8:30 p.m.

 I thought it would go quickly and smoothly after arriving at the birth sanctuary and into Connie’s capable hands.  After all, I did everything that I could during pregnancy in preparation for this day.  I did my research, stayed in shape, ate a great diet, and stayed happy and healthy overall.  I had already been in labor for approximately sixteen hours and only expected the eighteen hour average.  I was wrong!   

 I had previously requested during our prenatal appointments and in our birth plan that during labor, Connie would not tell me how far dilated I was for fear that it would depress me and stunt the continued progression of my labor.  When I arrived at the Babymoon Inn and Connie checked my cervix, unfortunately I was only 4.5 cm.  She simply stated that I “wasn’t going anywhere,” so we nested into the large bedroom and labor progressed slowly again.

 Right from the start, I became quite cold with the chills, ran a small fever and vomited twice.  Our Birth Attendant, Erin, would check the baby’s heartbeat (which was phenomenal every time!) and my temperature every hour.  When the hours dragged on, I realized that this was going to be neither quick nor easy.  When I finally glanced at the clock, I noticed that I had been laboring for an entire day – that’s 24 hours! 

 Throughout the evening, we attempted to change positions every 30 minutes or so.  I laid on my side and the pain became almost unbearable, even with the heated rice sock on my back.  We switched to the shower and while my uterus contracted, I would bend over using the shower wall for support and Michael would spray my lower back with the hot water.  We walked around the interior of the Babymoon Inn and when a contraction would hit, one of my birth team members would be right behind me, ready to massage my back or put pressure on my hips to help with the pain.  I continued to labor on my hands and knees in the cat-cow position and even got into the large Jacuzzi tub.  I attempted to imagine the weightless feeling of scuba diving while in the tub.  But each time a contraction came on, I would rise up on my hands and rock my pelvis back and forth – my own modified cat-cow.  I remember falling asleep a few times while in the bathtub and even when I was in the middle of a contraction standing up!  Exhaustion was creeping in.  While getting out of the tub, I looked at Connie and commented that this was not what I had expected.  That’s when she and Erin said a prayer of intercession over me.

 Connie also made me an herbal tincture to help my labor progress, but my contractions would not get closer than two minutes apart.  She also requested that I eat something so a hardboiled egg and tea with honey was presented to me.  I took two bites and then needed to use the restroom.  Vanessa accompanied me to the bathroom and continued to give me words of encouragement like, “You’re doing such a great job!” and “You’re so strong!”  I finally looked her in the eyes and mentioned that I had been pushing on the last three contractions while on the toilet and asked if that was okay.  She said we should have Connie check me again.

 As I approached Connie in the bedroom, I mentioned my urge to push.  That was the best news she had heard all night!  However, I was not sure if it was just the wishful urge to push or if my body was really ready for second stage labor.  After Connie checked, I still had a portion of cervix remaining, but she could assist its opening to the fully dilated 10 cm during a contraction.  Therefore, we went ahead and proceeded and on the second contraction, I felt the baby’s head “break through” into the birth canal.  That’s the only time I cursed during labor and delivery!  It was definitely a different feeling than the first stage of labor.  Unfortunately, I had to cease pushing at this very moment so that the team could check the baby’s heart rate.  All was good, so it took me just one more contraction to push her all the way out…eleven minutes total.  I remember Connie commenting that the baby had a lot of hair and that she was a very pretty baby.  Mind you, all I was thinking was, “Yah, she probably says that to all her clients!”  But, when the baby’s shoulder was out, Connie told me to take my baby and pull her the rest of the way out of the birth canal.  I did just that and our beautiful baby girl, Racquelle Joy, was born at 6:29 a.m. on Sunday, September 18^th.  Michael was behind me, supporting me all the way through the pushing, and was weeping at the sight of our new little creation. 

 I breast-fed Racquelle immediately after birth.  Then, she was weighed and measured and we cuddled some more before she fell into a deep slumber.  With this second wind I was experiencing from natural childbirth, I was able to take a shower and eat some breakfast.  We took photos, discussed post partum items, did some paperwork and enjoyed the beautiful Sunday morning that was before us. 

 What a blessing our little one is.  And, what a blessing to have such an amazing place like the Babymoon Inn and wonderful people like Connie and Erin to support the natural child-birthing community here in Phoenix!

Our First Birth  – Amanda shares her blog here

My Time at Babymoon Inn, a Tale of Two Birth Stories

By Sarah Grau

I can’t really explain what my birth at Babymoon Inn meant to me without first telling the story of my first birth, the long-awaited arrival of my first son, Joaquin, in 2007. 

I have wanted to be a mother ever since I can remember.  I met my future husband, Felipe, when I was 20, and we started dating the following year.  He was adamantly opposed to starting a family in our early 20′s before graduating college, and before getting married.  I waited patiently as we finished our bachelor’s degrees and then married in October 2006, when I was 27.  Finally!  I couldn’t wait to get pregnant, and I didn’t have to.  Two weeks after the wedding, and the morning before we left for our honeymoon, I found out that we were expecting.  I couldn’t have been happier!

Felipe came from a very traditional medical background, having a nurse for a mother, a doctor for a father, and a pharmacist for a sister.  I knew he’d be incredibly uncomfortable with anything but a hospital birth, and I have to admit that a pain-free delivery sounded pretty good.  Besides, I figured, I can have a natural birth later on down the line since we definitely wanted more than one child.  I saw an OB/GYN, wrote up a very detailed birth plan, and toured the hospital.  I thought I was informed and nothing could go wrong, but even during the hospital tour I had a feeling that something wasn’t right.  The “birthing suite” didn’t look nearly as homey as it did on the internet.  It looked, well, like a big hospital room with a few nice touches.  I was informed that I could not labor in the tub after my water broke, and that I wouldn’t be allowed to eat or drink freely (thought the tour guide herself confessed to sneaking in food and drink and breaking the rules because she “just couldn’t deal with laboring on an empty stomach.”)  The room where the baby boys were circumcised was right next to the postpartum rooms.  I could just imagine trying to sleep with my newborn while another baby was screaming as his genitals were mutilated (I ended up with the room NEXT TO it!) 

After the hospital tour I had serious doubts about how the birth would go, but I dismissed my misgivings as the worries of an expectant mother in her last few weeks of pregnancy.  Then my water broke at 37 1/2 weeks.  Or leaked, I should say.  There was no gush, just a trickle.  Knowing that I had a hard bed, food deprivation and then weeks of new motherhood ahead of me, I did some laundry and dishes, took a 5 hour nap, and ate a big breakfast before heading to the hospital.  I invited all my friends as well as my parents to come be there for the labor and to see our baby after he was born. 

To make a VERY long story short, my experience could have been worse, but not by much.  I was scolded for not coming in sooner, and told that we’d lost 8 hours on the 24 hour labor clock before a C-section would be necessary.  I was given so many tubes and monitors that Felipe’s best friend liken me to a Borg.  I was given Pitocin, which I expressly stated I didn’t want in my birth plan, and my water was broken hours later when it was clear that I was not having pain or contractions.  My OB/GYN was annoyed that I’d turned my room into a party room with so many people playing board games and keeping me company waiting for the baby.  She delayed checking on me or talking to me until I got rid of everyone.  Then it took half an hour to put an epidural in place because I have scoliosis, and every wrong poke sent electric shocks up my spine, making me jump and cry out.  I was so numb that couldn’t feel anything, and a lazy nurse started marking my chart that I’d been checked for dilation when I wasn’t.  I was then told I’d be having a C-section for “failure to progress.”  I only avoided unnecessary surgery by insisting that I be checked one final time before they cut me.  Needless to say, I was at 10 cm, and ready to push… but I was far too numb to do it!  I was given an episiotomy (another intervention I’d expressly forbidden!) and by the time my baby came out the epidural medicine had given me a strange, detached feeling that bothers me to this day.  I could not have cared less that the baby I’d waited my whole life for was here!  My OB/GYN ignored my requests to avoid cutting the cord until it was done pulsing, to put him directly on my stomach after the birth and to let me nurse directly after pushing him out.  While she stitched me up, a nurse offered to let my mother hold him first.  A week later , I reflected on this and cried inconsolably.  It was a moment ruined, and one I’d never get back.

Because my son was born at midnight, hospital policy kept me there for 2 days.  Had I left before that, the insurance company could have decided not to pick up the tab.  It took me 8 hours to regain the ability to walk, 2 weeks to sit without pain, and 4 weeks for the pain in my back from the epidural to subside.  I was angry, bitter, depressed, confused and looked back at my birth feeling completely violated.

For the next baby, I was determined that it would be different.  Before even attempting to conceive again, I started researching and interviewing midwives before I stumbled upon Shell Walker.  My search ended there.  I felt an instant connection to her, and she understood why such a birth would leave me feeling so empty and unhappy.  She answered all my questions (and then some) with exactly what I wanted to hear from the woman who would be overseeing my second birth.  She also informed me at this time that she was working on opening a freestanding birth center, something that I knew would make my out-of-hospital birth a lot more palatable to my dear husband. 

A year later, I was pregnant, and had my first appointment at Babymoon Inn!  Oh the difference!  The main birth room had none of the sterile, hostile environment that the “birth suite” at the hospital had.  It felt like a real bedroom, truly a place where I could relax and welcome a new life into the world.  I met Mani, Shell’s partner, and was amazed that I could love another midwife after falling in love with Shell.  I did though, and the two of them saw me through 8 months of prenatal visits.  I met Tracy, Shell’s student midwife, who helped answer my questions if Shell and Mani were busy, and Julia Hall, the owner of Babymoon Inn, who graciously eased me through the registration process and shared her own tales of gaining her husband’s support for a birth center birth after an unhappy hospital one.  I felt safe and cared for throughout my pregnancy and I never felt that nagging doubt that I’d felt when I toured the hospital birth suites.  THIS was where my baby would be born!

I couldn’t have asked for a better birth.  I had an uncomfortable night of “cramps,” and finally called Shell at 5 am thinking I was just having a bad night, not necessarily in labor.  She gently talked me into coming in to the birth center, and I’m SO glad she did.  My son was born at 5:57 am, 17 minutes after I walked through Babymoon Inn’s doors!  I went straight into the tub, which Shell prepared while I was on the road.  The water was perfect, and the tub was just what I needed.  With hand and foot holds perfectly suited for pushing, I was able to get my son out in four pushes.  I had spent all week preparing for the birth, loading my iPod with the perfect birth soundtrack, making a birth skirt, packing candles, and trying to think of ways to pass the time and deal with labor…and then I needed none of it!  Julia had contacted me before the birth to make sure Babymoon Inn had everything I could possibly want or need for my perfect birth.  It turned out that it did… but not because it had an iPod dock, someone to braid my hair, food I wanted in the kitchen and the candles I’d requested.  All those things were there, but it was perfect because I walked in the door greeted by the three faces of the women who had spent the previous months comforting and caring for me.  It was perfect because my environment was familiar and comforting.  It was perfect because I was loved and understood.  My vision for a perfect birth was known and respected.  I truly feel that this allowed my body to open and release my baby into the water without fear and confusion. 

My second son, Rhys, was born on February 9th, 2011 in the birth tub of Babymoon Inn.  He was 8 lb, 14 oz and 22 inches long.  His head came out after the third push, and after the fourth I was able to pick up my baby and lay him on my chest. I was able to immediately offer him my breast and his cord went uncut until Shell showed me that it was no longer pulsing.  I was tired, and Shell coaxed me into pushing out the placenta instead of yanking it out by the cord, as my OB/GYN had.  I was filled with a deep sense of peace and love, instead of detachment and confusion. 

I spent the day watched over and pampered by my midwives as my husband, son and I bonded with our new addition.  I was delivered breakfast in bed and brought my favorite morning treat, a well made mocha.  My midwives and my doula took turns entertaining my son to help ease him into his role as big brother.  Julia presented me with the sweetest care package, including a baby blanket for Rhys, a big brother shirt for Joaquin, an “It’s a Boy” plant arrangement, and trinkets for me.  I’d never felt so appreciated. 

My experience was as personalized and perfect as I could have ever asked for.  In fact, my experience isn’t really over, since I still take advantage of my unlimited postpartum visits.  It’s funny, I didn’t have any postpartum depression, per se, but I did get pretty weepy and cry a little when I thought that my relationship with my midwives might be doner.  It’s crazy to think about, since I’ve NEVER felt that way about any other care provider I’ve had in my life. 

I cannot recommend Babymoon Inn and my midwives enough.  My birth was everything I could have asked for, and the more healing than I ever thought it could be.  I no longer dwell on Joaquin’s awful birth and feel violated.  Babymoon Inn has helped me move on, and that is priceless.

Oh, and for anyone wondering, Rhys’ little footprints are the second set of prints on the wall next to the birth tub.  Yes, I was the second woman to birth there.  What a legacy!