Dear Pregnant People, You Can Get Through This

by Julia Hall | Apr 2, 2020 | Birth, Birth Center Advocacy

Dear Pregnant People, You Can Get Through This

The following is a guest blog written by Natalie Vitez, who is currently expecting her first child

Natalie Vitez is currently expecting her first child and planning to give birth at at freestanding birth center.

I was ecstatic when my husband and I
found out I was pregnant.

I’d suffered a devastating miscarriage last year, and finding out we were expecting our rainbow baby inspired much joy for us and our family. I knew without a doubt that I wanted to give birth at Babymoon Inn, a birth center in Central Phoenix. Not only had they provided me excellent care as a client leading up to this pregnancy, but they had become like a second family to me since I began working there as a doula. I had every confidence in their ability to guide me through a healthy pregnancy and birth. I had so much to look forward to: maternity clothes, baby showers, preparing the nursery, and endless baby kicks. Luckily, this pregnancy has been completely normal, and I’ve been able to do all of the daydreaming while soaking in the excitement that everyone was feeling.

And then the world turned upside down.

The Coronavirus, or COVID-19, is spreading around the world and everything has changed. The social distancing mandated to keep it from overwhelming our healthcare system has drastically affected everyone’s daily lives.

Research is limited on the effects of the virus on pregnant people and their babies, so the best option is to be extremely cautious and stay home. Now that I’m working exclusively from home as an administrative assistant, I have to be careful with how much toilet paper I use during my frequent bathroom visits because toilet paper is scarce.

Let me repeat that to highlight the absurdity: toilet paper is scarce.

The unknown is scary. What you’re feeling – whatever it is – is valid. You are allowed to be scared. You are allowed to be unsure. You can feel disappointed that your baby shower was cancelled. You can feel alone even with your phone ringing off the hook and text messages flooding in. All of these thoughts and feelings are okay. I’m right there with you. There are so many that are right there with you too.

You are not alone. We’re in this together.

My greatest hope for you is that you won’t let those negative feelings take over. If everything feels out of control, look for what you can control. We all know the health recommendations of washing our hands frequently, social distancing, and avoiding touching your face.

But here are a few things you can do to help keep your sanity and
have the best pregnancy and birth possible:

Re-evaluate your birth plan:

Take the time to evaluate what is truly important to you and plan how to accommodate and adjust for any restrictions of your birthing place. Consider your options for where to give birth, which may include home, the hospital, or a freestanding birth center.

Get creative:

Have a virtual baby shower or mother blessing. Use Zoom or Facetime to have your doula or family “present” at your birth. Join that virtual support group for pregnant people. When we let go of one idea or preconceived notion, it opens the door to so many new and creative ideas.

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Hire a birth doula:

Even if the doula can only provide virtual support on the big day, they can help prepare you and empower you beforehand as well as give excellent support postpartum.

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Talk to your provider:

Either during in-person visits or over the phone, take the time to really talk about how you’re doing and prioritize your pregnancy.

Talk to other pregnant people:

No one is going to understand what you’re going through more than another pregnant person.

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Take a childbirth class:

Learning everything you can about childbirth and what your options are can provide a more satisfying birth experience. Now more than ever, it’s important to be informed and prepared heading into your birth.

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Read positive birth stories:

Surround yourself with positive and uplifting stories to remind yourself what is waiting for you at the end of this. Include recent positive stories of people who have given birth too!

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Move your body:

Moving is not only good for you physically, but it also does wonders for the mind and reduces stress.

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Keep a journal:

If it’s something that is up your alley, write everything down. Not only can it help clear your head, but it’ll be fun to show your child what crazy things were happening when they were born.

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Above all else, find the light. You can still feel exhilaration when the baby kicks. Or still delight in unpacking new baby onesies, even if they had to come in an online order. Or still laugh at all of the funny pregnancy posts online and the social distancing memes. New babies still represent, as they always have, our most precious hopes for the future.

I hope that you still feel the magic this baby brings and have big dreams. This crisis will not last forever. Don’t let it steal your joy. Please reach out if you need support and remember that you are not alone. Your provider, your doula, your friends and family, they are all here for you.

I am here for you.

You can get through this.

Reach Out With Questions

What Should My Partner Pack in their Labor Bag?

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What Should my Partner Pack in a Labor Bag?Packing your labor bags for Baby Day is an exciting milestone - things are getting real! It’s like packing for a vacation but you actually get the coolest souvenir to bring home. However, like a vacation, sometimes it can be...

Birth Hormones You Should Know!

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Birth Hormones You Should Know!Understanding how birth hormones impact your labor and birth can help you make informed choices about how and where you want to labor, what you can do to help labor progress, and what you might not realize is slowing labor down! Oxytocin...

Five Essential Tools for your Labor Bag

by Raquel MacDonald | July 14, 2020 | Birth, Labor | 0 Comments

5 Essential Tools for your Labor BagNo matter what your birth plan is, having tools packed in your bag to that can help manage labor is always a good idea. Whether you’re planning for a natural birth or you know you’d like medications for pain relief, these basic...

Visiting New Parents? Follow These Tips!

by Julia Hall | May 14, 2020 | Birth, Postpartum | 0 Comments

Visiting the New Parents? Follow These Tips!Congratulations on the newest member of your family or circle of friends! We know you are so excited to meet this new little one and visit with his or her parents. Wondering how you can be helpful and make that visit...

How to be an Awesome Birth Partner

by Julia Hall | April 23, 2020 | Birth, Labor, Prenatal | 0 Comments

Five Ways You Can be an Awesome Birth Partner Pssst. Hey you, yes YOU. The partner. The support person. The other half.I know right now a lot of the attention is placed on the pregnant person (rightfully so!), but YOU’RE super important, too. Right now more than...

Actually, Birth Never Needed to be in the Hospital

by Julia Hall | April 14, 2020 | Birth, Birth Center Advocacy, Clinical, Labor, Prenatal | 0 Comments

Actually, Birth Never Needed to be in the HospitalEvaluating birth choices while pregnant in the time of COVID-19.Take a deep breath.If you read that headline and bristled, let me clarify this before I even begin: For people who are high-risk, ill, or who personally...

Yes, You Still Need a Doula!

by Michelle Petkovic | Feb 8, 2020 | Birth, Labor, Postpartum

Even if you’ve found yourself saying any of these things while you’re preparing your birth (and postpartum!) plans, there’s a good chance that you will still benefit from having a doula support you throughout your pregnancy, birth and postpartum! Do any of these apply to you?

My partner says, “I’ve got this!”

First, let’s be clear, we can’t say this enough – A. Doula. Does. Not. Replace. Your. Partner! Your partner is amazing – we can already tell that by how involved and engaged they are. However, a doula can help support your partner or free them up to help you. Your partner knows you better than anyone, and while a doula will work to get to know you better throughout your pregnancy, they cannot provide the same level of intimacy that your partner can. Doulas know birth. They are trained in the physiological aspects of the natural birth process and can be like a handy cheat sheet of all the things you learned in your childbirth education classes. There’s no pressure to remember every phase and stage of labor on your own! It’s also important to remember that your partner is going through an emotional transition too and may benefit from doula support or even just a reminder to drink some water or use the restroom from time to time. Just like they’re looking out for your needs, a doula keeps your partner’s needs in mind as well.

“It’s not my first rodeo.”

Just like each baby is different, no two birth experiences are exactly the same. Your first birth may have left you with high expectations or a need to emotionally heal, but either way, your first birth experience will have an impact on how you enter this one. Those are all things that you can talk through with your doula leading up to birth that will help them provide the most personalized support possible. The second time around you may also be thinking about how your oldest child can be involved in your birth experience. A sibling doula can be a dedicated support person for your first child by getting to know them ahead of time and being on-call for when you need them during labor. They can help children feel safe when mom is “roaring like a lion” or even help them to bake a birthday cake or draw a birthday card to welcome baby.

“My midwife already supports my choices, so I don’t need additional support.”

Shout out to all of the supportive, loving and knowledgeable providers who engage in shared decision-making and honor your choices! It is SO important to have a care team that fully understands and respects your wishes. A midwife and doula work together, but actually hold very different roles. They’re both professionals who understand the physiology of birth and work to make sure you and your baby are fully supported throughout your pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Midwives are medically trained to examine, diagnose and provide medical support and care for healthy, low-risk pregnancies. Doulas provide emotional, physical (such as touch and massage), and informational support for the birthing person and their family.

Why did you decide to hire a doula? What impact did that decision have on your birth? Tell us in the comments.

Michelle Petkovic

Social Media Manager, Babymoon Inn

Michelle Petkovic received her degree in International Affairs from Sweet Briar College. She is a mother of one energetic toddler born at a birth center and loves spending time outside camping, hiking and traveling with her family.

What NOT To Do in Labor

by Julia Hall | Jan 30, 2020 | Birth, Just for Fun, Labor, Prenatal

If you’re pregnant, there’s a good chance you’ve perused books, read articles, and taken classes giving you suggestions on what to do when you’re in labor. Move, breathe, change positions, bring a doula, stay hydrated, etc. But there are few additional things we encourage laboring people NOT do to….

DON’T waste energy. Are you in early labor with noticeable yet manageable contractions? Relax! Take a nap or go to bed, watch Netflix while sitting on an exercise ball, eat a balanced, nourishing meal, take a casual stroll around Target, or take a warm bath or shower. Think of birth like a marathon – maybe even an uphill marathon. Conserve your energy in the beginning because you will need it at the end.

DON’T watch the clock. In early labor, there’s rarely a need to time your contractions. You’ll know if they’re 30 minutes apart or 5 minutes apart – we promise. And if you’re fixating on your contractions, you’re going to feel them more intensely. Plus if you’re timing them, this means you’re not sleeping, which is a far more beneficial activity in early labor! As labor progresses into a more active state, we still discourage looking at the clock. (On more than one occasion I’ve seen a midwife quietly take a clock off the wall in a birthing room…) Watching the clock makes you acutely aware of how much time is passing – or not passing – and you’re more likely to get caught up asking yourself “How much longer can I do this?” instead of staying mindful and present in the moment and focusing on relaxing during and between contractions.

DON’T stress out. Yes, this is easier said than done (which is why we recommend great childbirth classes and lots of mental preparation during pregnancy). But there’s a super-scientific reason why stress is counterproductive to labor. During labor, your body produces increasing levels of oxytocin, the amazing “love hormone” that among other things, causes contractions. Oxytocin is produced when we feel safe and loved. We WANT the body to produce oxytocin because oxytocin = labor progression. But when we’re stressed/scared/sense danger, our body produces stress hormones called catecholamines that – you guessed it – inhibit oxytocin production! So minimizing stress and external stressors isn’t just good for your mental state, it will actually help your labor progress. #science

DON’T hold your breath. It’s tempting and may even feel instinctive to hold your breath when experiencing pain. But breathing is an important tool for labor, and one of the few tools you can use regardless of the path your birth takes (e.g. if you’re having a Cesarean, birthing balls and rebozos are no longer useful, but breathing is!). Remember those stress hormones mentioned above? The best way to quell the stress response is by breathing. Breathing also lowers blood pressure and provides energy to both mom and baby. Because it can be instinctive to hold your breath and tense up when feeling pain, practice breathing/relaxation techniques during pregnancy that you can learn in childbirth classes, prenatal yoga, or pregnancy/birth literature.

DON’T be self-conscious. Labor naked if you want to. Moan and roar and make all the noises you like. Make peace with that fact that you will probably throw up or poop while pushing (I promise literally no one cares, and in fact your midwife might get excited by both of these things because it means labor is advancing and you’re pushing effectively). Again, oxytocin is produced when you feel safe, comfortable, and loved. If you’re stressing out about what you’re doing, saying, or looking like, you’re getting in your own way. Don’t worry about being “lady-like” or “a good patient.” Your birth is about you and your baby. It’s your moment. Don’t worry about other people. Embrace the experience and be the birthing goddess that you are.

DON’T forget to make a social media plan. Do what’s right for you regarding this topic, but know that if you post on social media that you are in labor, you’re opening up the flood gate of “have you had that baby yet” texts and phone calls. You may be totally fine with this. Or you may find it really frustrating/annoying/distracting/upsetting, especially if labor is going slower than you hoped or has taken a stressful or unexpected turn and you have 50 well-meaning friends and family members wanting minute-by-minute updates. In addition to thinking about if/when you post about being in labor, be thoughtful about what you post. A friend (who shall obviously remain nameless) once posted on Facebook that her water had broken and she was headed to the hospital, only to come back a few hours later and be forced to admit she had actually peed her pants and mistaken it as her water breaking.

What Do’s and Don’ts of labor do you recommend? Tell us in the comments!

Diana Petersen M.Ed., LCCE

Director of Education, Babymoon Inn

Diana Petersen received her journalism degree at the University of Arizona and her Master’s degree in education at Northern Arizona University. She is a DONA-certified doula and Lamaze-certified childbirth educator at Babymoon Inn, an accredited birth center and full-scope midwifery practice in Phoenix, Arizona.

Including Siblings in the Birth Experience

by Julia Hall | Nov 28, 2019 | Birth, Labor

Are you considering including your older child or children in the birth of their sibling? While not for everyone, having your other children present at the birth can be a great experience for all of you. Still, there are a number of factors to consider when making this decision – your child’s age and temperament, the time of day you wind up going into labor, and where you are planning to give birth, to name a few.

If you and your children have mutually decided that they will be present at the birth, consider the following to make the birth a safe, happy, and memorable experience for all.

Follow the child’s lead at the birth. One of the many benefits of birth centers is the comfortable, home-like environment. During labor, allow your older child to call the shots on where they would like to be. They may wander in and out of the labor room, have a snack in the kitchen, or play games in the living room. Honor their feelings and allow them the freedom to choose where they are most comfortable, which may or may not be in the birthing room itself.

ALWAYS bring someone aside from your birth partner to be the primary caregiver during labor and birth. For a number of reasons, it’s best if you bring someone who can be completely focused on your other children. As the laboring person, you should be relaxed and focused on labor, and your birth partner should be focused on you. It can be a difficult balance for the non-laboring parent to care for a child (who may be experiencing some big emotions) but also be fully present and able to support the person in labor. Additionally, if labor takes an extended amount of time or there is an emergency or hospital transfer, it may be necessary for someone to take your other children home.

Talk about birth ahead of time. In terms that are appropriate for your child’s age, explain what may happen during labor and the basics of birth (where the baby comes out, what an umbilical cord is).

“Mommy may not seem very happy. She may seem sad and angry, or she may be very quiet.”
“Mommy might make some loud noises like this (insert grunts, groans, etc.). It may sound strange or silly, but those sounds help mommy get the baby out!”
“If mommy is in the bath tub, it may turn a different color like pink or red when the baby is born.”
“When the baby is born, it may not look very clean! He may be slippery or be covered with white stuff or have blood on him, and that’s OK!”

Consider bringing your children to the birth center ahead of time and also to an appointment with the midwife so they feel included in the process and can ask questions of the midwife

Pack a bag for your child. In addition to basics like comfortable clothes, snacks, etc., pack some activities for your child and their designated caregiver. For younger children especially, provide some new toys or art supplies they have never seen before.

Assign roles. For older children who have chosen to be present at the birth, talk ahead of time about what their role may be at the birth. Do they wish to be in another room but present for the actual birth? Or the opposite? Some older children will happily and instinctively jump into a doula role, bringing you water, fanning you to keep you cool, holding your hand, and staying by your side. If this is your child, talk ahead of time about how they can be helpful. If this is not your child, have a conversation about what they are comfortable with and assure them whatever they decide is fine with you.

Did your older children attend your birth? What advice would you give other families? Tell us in the comments!

Diana Petersen M.Ed., LCCE

Director of Education, Babymoon Inn

Five Tips for Managing Labor Pain

by Julia Hall | Nov 21, 2019 | Birth, Birth Stories, Labor

When preparing for a natural birth, it’s common to be concerned about the discomforts of labor. In a country where the majority of vaginal births include epidural pain relief, and articles imploring women to “just get the epidural” are widespread, planning an unmedicated birth may seem intimidating. But we promise it’s actually very achievable! Here are a few tips for managing a med-free labor.

Give birth in an environment designed to support natural birth. Labor is hard work (there’s a reason it’s called “labor!”). And yes, that hard work is accompanied by some pretty intense sensations. But having complete and total control over how you respond to those sensations is a game-changer. Provided you are healthy and low-risk, your place of birth and your birth team should provide total autonomy for you to eat, drink, move, and vocalize in whatever way feels best to you. Consider seeing midwives and giving birth at a freestanding birth center or at home.

Pack some comfort tools in your labor bag. Consider bringing a tennis ball, massage tools, rebozo, lip balm, reheatable rice sock, ice pack, wireless speaker, and essential oils to your birth. Practice using these things and have your birth partner brush up on his or her massage skills. Choose a birth location with unrestricted access to a shower and bathtub so you can take full advantage of the benefits of hydrotherapy. What brings you comfort and helps you relieve stress in your daily life? Apply these same philosophies to labor.

Take a class. Unfortunately physiologic birth is no longer the norm and therefore pregnant women don’t always have the benefit of generations of women before them and a circle of women around them sharing stories of normal birth. Soooo much of what is shared about birth is fear-based. Taking independent (i.e. offered outside of a hospital), comprehensive childbirth classes will not only teach you strategies to manage pain but also help you reframe your thinking to not see labor pain as scary or harmful. Which bring us to…

Use this acronym to shift your mindset and remove negative associations with the word “pain.”

Adjust your mindset. Before giving birth, most people’s experiences with pain revolve around illness or injury. Generally, pain exists as a helpful and important warning sign to our brain that something is wrong. So our brains are hard-wired to overreact to pain! But the sensations of labor are purposeful and normal – a sign that things are right. They also play an important role in the oxytocin feedback cycle, causing contractions to intensify and labor to progress (which is what we want!). Practice breathing and relaxation techniques leading up to your birth and avoid the urge to tense up during contractions. Remind yourself that what you are feeling is purposeful and will result in the birth of your baby.

Hire a doula. Every person should bring a doula to their birth, regardless of whether it’s natural or medicated, vaginal or surgical. But if you’re planning a natural birth, hiring a doula or having continuous labor support from someone other than your partner is a must. These magical birth fairies know all the best tricks to keep the laboring person and their partner as calm and comfortable as possible. A doula knows exactly where to apply counterpressure to relieve that back labor, how to breathe with you to release tension, and exactly what to say if you’re feeling overwhelmed by labor. And if your plans for birth need to change, a doula can help you navigate any unexpected turns your labor might take.

We asked experienced mamas what helped them manage labor sensations – here’s what they had to say:

Instead of anticipating the next contraction, anticipating the break in between contractions helped me get through. The break is coming, my rest is coming. – Aja R.

I knew the contractions were doing the hard work to open my cervix, so every time I had one, I literally visualized my cervix opening as a result and did my best to relax and think “open…open…open” until it was over. Not fighting those contractions, but instead working WITH them was key. – Tamara K.

Trusting that my body was in complete control of the labor and delivery process made it all bearable in the coolest way possible, but reminding myself that my mom, who is my biggest role model in life, and all my other female ancestors have done it too made me feel like a warrior. I can’t leave out my loving husband who was my rock during it all. – Michelle H.

With my third birth, I thought a lot about how the contraction was my body’s doing. It helped me view it less as pain…something we naturally fear. It is so different than pain being inflicted or felt in a negative way. There was nothing to fear because it was my body’s natural response. I remember saying in my head that “my body (the contractions) are powerful and I am strong.” – Michelle R.

The phrase “fudgy monkey balls” got me through all those heinous contractions, as did being on all fours in a hot shower, counting backward from 100, and sitting backwards on the toilet. I wish I could explain the fudgy monkey balls….but it literally just came out of my mouth and it was the only thing I could say! – Emily B.

It really helped me through being able to change positions. The most helpful thing for contraction pain was being able to sit on a yoga ball in the shower and using the rabozo(sp?) to apply counter pressure on my hips. That helped tremendously! – Megan E.

Diana Petersen M.Ed., LCCE

Director of Education, Babymoon Inn

Do Weekend Deliveries Pose Risks for Moms?

by Julia Hall | Feb 9, 2017 | Birth

Did you know that maternal mortality rates have more than doubled since 1990? A recent study (presented at a conference in Las Vegas and soon to be published) looks at the rates of weekend deliveries and the increased risk of maternal death. Steven Reinberg, HealthDay Reporter with US News & World Report summarizes the study:

For the study, researchers reviewed outcomes from more than 45 million pregnancies in the United States between 2004 and 2014. They found a slightly increased risk of death among mothers who delivered over the weekend — about 21 per 100,000 deliveries, compared with about 15 per 100,000 during the week.

The Baylor researchers also found that weekend deliveries were linked to the need for more maternal blood transfusions and more tearing in the area between the vagina and anus (perineum). In addition, neonatal intensive care unit admissions, neonatal seizures and antibiotic use all rose on weekends, compared with other times of the week, the study reported.
“There is clearly something different about the health care offered to women on the weekends,” Clark said.
Although the exact reasons for this weekend effect aren’t known, several factors may be in play, he speculated.
“It may be that there are less experienced people on weekend shifts,” Clark said. “That’s commonly seen in nursing and physician staffing. It may also be that people on those shifts are tired.”
Or, it may be that doctors are distracted, Clark said. “They may not be focused on patient care, but rather other things they want to do on the weekend,” he said. “Our data does not allow us to say which of these things is linked to worse care.”
Something about weekend care appears to need changing, Clark said. But because the reasons for these problems aren’t known, the changes needed aren’t clear, he said.
Dr. Mitchell Kramer, chairman of the department of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwell Health’s Huntington Hospital in Huntington, N.Y., questioned the study’s findings.
“They are grasping at straws to explain why infant and maternal mortality rates increase on weekends,” Kramer said. “I think it’s more complex than what they say.”
Kramer said he found the notion that doctors are distracted and patients fare worse over the weekend “disturbing and insulting. That comment alone makes me very dubious about the results of this study,” he said.
“In my hospital, patients get the same care on weekends that they get during the week,” he said.
Clark, however, sees the weekend effect as one possible reason for the overall higher maternal mortality in the United States, compared with other countries.

Moreover, the rate of maternal death in the United States is increasing, Clark said. It’s more than double what it was in 1990, he said.

For more, read the entire discussion here.

For more information on deaths during childbirth, visit the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

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About Babymoon Inn

Babymoon Inn is a full-scope midwifery practice and wellness center with locations in Phoenix and Tucson. Our team is committed to improving maternal outcomes and providing personalized, evidence-based care to all people.